We are so Bad at Disc Golf...
A little over a month ago Bryan and I thought we were good enough to play the gold layout at Renaissance.  But we were not. Not at all. Bryan was set to turn 30 in about 2 weeks, so I'm going to let his excuse be that he was old. Mine will be that I felt sorry for him and wanted to let him win. Sound good? Good. Just look at the determination on my face here tho. I'm not sure I can pull of the "I wasn't trying" excuse, but I'm going to try. Despite the determination, I still ended up with a drive that looked like... well... like it was thrown by someone who can't throw a disc. But, still... look at that form. It's beautiful. Pay no attention to the thud of the disc hitting the tree. And yes, I know the picture shows a backhand and the video shows a forehand. So I cheated and threw two times. So what. |
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Then, of course, there's Bryan trying to drive.  Why does he always look so damn goofy? And how the hell does he manage to throw better than me with a form like that? But, you know, regardless of how the drives went, I'm going to go ahead and say that I made this putt. Even though I'm pretty sure I did not. Because, of course, I wasn't actually trying to make it. If you look behind the goal to the left, I believe that is Bryan's approach shot. But, then again, there's a disc in front of the goal too, and Bryan has this nasty habit of throwing everything in his hands at the goal if he misses a shot he thinks he should make. There are always discs all over the place. It's amazing we don't lose more than we do. More discs, that is. We are both obviously losing at disc golf.
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Even though we don't do mulligans... even though we've never really done mulligans...  Bryan always seems to think that he's allowed to take one. And perhaps it's karma, but the mulligans rarely seem to actually be any better... kind of like this one did not. But once he actually got out from behind the fence, you can see the ferociousness with which he attacked the next shot. Well, actually... that is probably the next next shot...
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Not that I'm completely trying to rag on Bryan. After all, he IS supposed to be the winner of this game. Even though the youtube fuziness makes it damn near impossible to actually see where this goes, this was a decent shot. Especially if you don't think about the fact that this was the 2nd shot on this hole and, technically, Bryan should have had to have taken it with his penis out.
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I know it seems like it, but I really am not only trying to make fun of Bryan. I'll get mine too. But this is just so precious. There's a little sign at the end of the teepad that says something like, "If, by some freak of nature, you miss the mando, you must retee." This was so close to being a freak of nature... One day tho... we'll see it...
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I think I recall saying something, after we'd finished the front nine, about how my score was equal to my course record and how Bryan's was 3 or so over the course record. After only being halfway through. And the 2nd half is much more difficult. It was a rough day...
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I think this is Bryan trying to describe, visually, where his level of play is compared to mine...
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Then he tries to put those words into actions and throws the disc directly into the jungle...
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While I, forgetting my oath to lose, go ahead and knock down this amazing putt.
(Although, in reality, I'm pretty sure I missed this as well)
Because, of course, I was actually remembering to try to lose.
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Now I know this throw looks beautiful. I know I look sexy as hell. And I know that you can't actually see where the disc went on youtube. The disc went left. Way left. Given the evidence of how gorgeous I looked while making the throw, however, it should be pretty obvious that this was on purpose.
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And then there's #13. I hate this hole more than any other disc golf hole I've ever played.  I don't understand why there is more photographic evidence of this hole than any other. Except, perhaps, b/c it takes so fucking long to play it b/c I'm so fucking terrible at it. I was even all down in my post-throw stance the way I usually do it when there's a good throw to be had... But you can just tell by the way I'm looking off into the distance... NOT happy. This went over the line of trees that is supposed to separate hole 13 from hole 11. They run parallel to one another. Sadly, this was not going to be the worst thing to happen to me on this hole...
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Bryan is always better at holding things together on this hole. If I come close to losing on this course, it's b/c of this hole. That held true this day as well. Although I'm pretty sure this resulted in a 4-point swing, it's not like Bryan had it completely easy. Throwing out of trees is never fun, and you can imagine him snapping that shirt thing like he was a woman who just got told that the mall was closed.
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Approximately 15 shots later, we can actually see the basket. Bryan, showing no signs of his age, makes a nice approach shot...
 Maybe his best form of the day. And his shot certainly ends up in a much much better place than mine... And these aren't nice oak trees that are fun to climb. No, these are pine trees. Very prickly pine trees. Very itchy pine trees. With branches close together... Not really the most fun I've ever had involving a tree and a frisbee.
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Bryan tried to use his big bear hands to shake it down, but the tree was nobody's bitch... had to find another solution...
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 I'm not usually terrible at 14 either, but this didn't work out. Bryan's standing at the goal when taking this photo. Pretty sure that I, yet again, missed. Although, come to think of it, this one might have actually gone in for a bogey...
Things kind of turned around for me on 15 tho... Bryan chucks his disc way way right, and I... well... you can see:
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Yeah... this is where my drive landed. The hole is right there. For birdie. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not I made it...
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As this game finally began to end, I was down by 1 with three holes to go. We had some memory left in the camera, so I guess I can let these next two videos speak for themselves.
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It is now tied...
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And now I'm down by two... wow. I usually love this hole. I often par this hole. But not today. Because, if you recall, I'm trying to lose to make Bryan feel better.
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So... last hole, and I'm down by two. My plan is working perfectly.
But now count the number of shots we each take...
and listen to Bryan's assessment of his score...
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I really don't know what else I could have done to try to lose this game. But Bryan still had to try to cheat to get the win. Real classy. And so, of course, I had to set the record straight. Perhaps had he not TRIED to cheat, I would have cheated for him so that he could feel better about himself. But this kind of brazen disrespect for the game would not stand. Maybe next time... maybe.
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Labels: bryan, Disc Golf
finally...
I got around to playing Charlotte's Web.
After I had to come into work on Saturday.
But, damn, it was a nice day. And I played it alone.
And I found a nice pair of sunglasses... tried to return them to the guys in front of me, but the glasses didn't belong to them.
But I learned some stuff.
- Playing with light orange discs whose color is that of the leaves on the ground sucks. And is kind of stupid.
- Sparks beer/energy drink things are TERRIBLE.
- Especially the ones with extra alcohol.
- But you can get very mildly buzzed if you have two in less than an hour.
- The wind might feel good, but it is not your friend.
- +11 actually isn't actually that awful. (the group in front of me were all hovering around that score as well)
That's all. I already knew everything else.
Oh. And, after about 4 hours dealing with travelocity's crashing website and their (extremely extremely nice and patient, yet) not very helpful customer service, I managed to book my flight to Hawaii. Somehow the final price managed to go up $40 during the time spent dealing with their technical bullshit. And my return flight is almost 3 hours later than I wanted.
But I can't REALLY complain. So I spend an extra $13/hour to stay in Hawaii a little longer. There are worse things.
Oh #2. This Friday there's a Nirvana cover band opening for a Pearl Jam cover band down the street from my house. Hilarious. I'm so there. Labels: Disc Golf, music, Pearl Jam
Marathon Golf
6:30 AM -> Wake Up
6:30 - 7:30AM -> Dick Around Long Enough to Actually Wake Up; Make Coffee; Leave for Renaissance Gold.
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Renaissance Park. Gold. Perhaps the most difficult course in the Charlotte area. And we chose to play it in 32 degree weather at 7:30 AM. On Saturday. So it goes. It was cold. Bryan doesn't usually get cold. Maybe this proves that it was cold. It was, in fact, cold enough to attempt to throw while wearing gloves... as you can tell from my demonstration of how to make sure your glove and disc match up prior to the throw...
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Unfortunately, the gloves were a bad idea... this is what happens when you play disc golf with gloves on...
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One thing about freeze-your-balls-off-early-as-hell disc golf is that it seems to make you kind of stupid. If you will, please, note the amount of stuff in Bryan's left hand. I'm pretty damned sure this is only hole 2 and we're already suffering... I'm also pretty damned sure this shot didn't go in.
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Of course then, I, being the intelligent young man that I am... take no heed of the lesson taught by Mr. Woody. Instead I go ahead and putt while hanging onto an open laptop bag in the other hand. In my defense, there was not yet a bottle of wine in this bag to weigh me down. Also in my defense, I made it. ->-> (What a cool fucking picture tho, huh? I dunno how Bryan managed to time that right to get the chains in mid-motion...)
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The sad part is that, although I made that putt, it was my SEVENTH shot on hole number seven. (I know it says eight on the thing... trust me.) And Bryan got a 5. Seemed to me that the first hole of the day where Bryan get the box deserves some sort of celebration.
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On hole 9, I think I had my best drive ever. This is it.
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Just under two hours later, Renaissance is behind us with some of the worst scores in a long long time. Positive 29? Not cool. But regardless. We made it. And Hornet's Nest was waiting... zipped up I-77 and arrived rejuevenated and ready to roll. (Please note the super-fly Amsterdam shirt that Bryan's sporting) Oh. And we stopped at the Food Lion. A bottle of wine for me, and a six-pack of extra alcohol Spark beers for Bryan... I think 2 managed to survive the trip...
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Once it became warmer, it seemed like one of our goals quickly became getting a photo with the disc just released... There are many of these to come. This was, I believe, the first.
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A study in the comparisson of throwing styles on Hornet's Nest #12.
We didn't even play the Web layout. Because we suck.
I've NEVER played the entire Web layout properly. Dammit.
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This is what I was talking about. I think these are holes numbered 14, 15, and 16 in a row. Bryan was determined to get that post-throw shot. It actually worked out quite well, I think. And wtf. Why do I always put my back knee on the ground when throwing forehand?
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On the left, Bryan's second shot on 16... on the right, Bryan's drive on 17. I mostly thought the trees and stuff were really pretty on this one...
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And lastly, my second shot on #18... It was a great drive and sucked to be back in the woods. Somehow my fruity little throw got me up to the hole and in for Par. (Bryan had a shit drive, but an amazing 2nd shot and putt to sink Par as well.)
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And that was about that at Hornet's. More not-so-great scores, but I suppose it could have been worse. Next up: Sugaw. All par 3's, and a pretty easy course. Half a bottle of wine and a pair of Sparks should help matters... maybe... Here's a couple of Bryan showing me how to drive... What form!
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Now I'm showing him how to drive. Backhand. I SUCK at backhands. (apparently, I also suck at thinking... I just realized that I had the wrong picture here... now it's correct.)
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Now for putting... Bryan thinks it works if you throw it at your opponent. Me, on the other hand... I know that a slam dunk is a very high percentage shot. (Thank you, NBA2k)
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And lastly, in case you forgot, I like to put my right knee on the ground for some reason... It looks like this was probably a terrible shot. Why the hell am I throwing it so far up in the air???
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Sugaw was... decent. At least it wasn't another 29 over. I think I can beat this course... this was only the 2nd (perhaps 3rd) time I've tried it tho. Next time, it's mine. With most of the alcohol gone, however, Reedy Creek became somewhat of a playground. And I decided that it was now warm enough to wear flipflops. Idiot.
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Luckily for you, the battery in the camera was dying... So we're left with Bryan fighting his way out of the woods and me... looking like I'm trying to take a shit while throwing the frisbee. I hope that was a good shot, but it definitely looks like it's 300 feet in the air again. Ridiculous.
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I can't even really remember how things went down on Reedy... luckily there's a scorecard below. Unluckily, I'm trying to hurry, so I'm not going to go look at it yet and, instead, leave this randomness in place of anything pseudo real. Kilbourne... God, I love Kilbourne... Newly reopened and still lacking a couple of tee-pads, it feels great to play this course again. The posted scores on the course, however, are much different from those on the website. (which I used for the scorecards.) Last time we played, I was 7 under and Bryan was 2 under. Using the posted scores. Using these scorecards was a little frustrating. But I got this really pretty picture (albeit blurry) of Bryan on the non-existant teepad for number ten. And then, mostly to take up space. There's this. I feel like one of us - probably me... naturally - made this putt. Hence the photo.
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Although I managed to screw up the order of the courses... and we didn't get to play Veteran's due to a prior engagement (i.e. block party on Dorothy and Diana with free beer and food...mmmmm...) AND despite the fact that these scores are embarrassing... Here. Right here. Are the scores.
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Labels: bryan, Disc Golf
well, shit.
motherfuckers are trying to blow up planes again.
Planes that I want to ride on in a few weeks. shit.
Now that that's out of the way. Here are some more dumb photos.
This is the tee for the eleventh hole at Davidson. My disc is supposed to be in it, but I think it's behind the tree.
And Allison and Fuzzy in her newly "furnished" apartment Labels: Allison, Disc Golf
Renny Photos
Saturday. 7:45 AM. I hate alarms. As does, I'm sure, most everyone. The sound of an alarm means, "Hey! HEY!! Turn me off, asshole! Now! And then hope you are awake enough to remember to actually wake up in ten minutes!" Usually I'm not. And usually I don't. During college, I took to sleeping with my alarm so that it would wake me. That didn't work. I made it to that class a full four times the whole semester. But this time, I was ready. And on a Saturday no less. After what seems like months of 100+ degree temps, Bryan and I are going to make it out early enough to do something other than just sweat.
And, fuck me, but the weather was beautiful.
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| We get to Renaissance about 8:15 and start heading out on the Gold layout. I will go ahead and say that we both suck. But not sucking isn't necessarily the point. Number 2 kind of ate us both up tho as we both had great shots for bogey but then ended up down the ravine... Here's the hole for Number Two... just across another ravine to hole Eighteen. |
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Some sadists in front of us had brought a friend of theirs to the course for his first time playing ever... Poor guy. But they let us pass through on 3. And, usually, when I play through, you can count on a disc in a tree. Or the water. Or two feet behind. But this time it was the perfect "S" around both bends and out into the open. Best. Number 3. Drive. Ever. Bryan managed to pull the same crap out of his ass and tossed a great drive as well. We totally looked awesome.
But this isn't really a story about how great we appeared to be for a brief moment in time. I just want to show the pictures I took. So, onward. |
| The original front 9 wraps back and forth through the woods until it opens up for the eighth hole and down the hill into glorious number 9. number 9. number 9. But, really, that's for wankers. We're playing Gold. Number 9 is the real man's Number 8. So I give you the nicely tucked away basket for Number 8 with a big fat number "9" on it.
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| So we make the turn... and Number Ten is hard. I hate it. It's hard. And that is all. Number Eleven is the first long wide open hole on the course. And it's long. Over 1000 feet. and a Par 5. Needless to say, I have never gotten a Par. This time, however, was close. After my gorgeous third shot (in the photo), I managed, somehow, to completely toss the thing over treeline to the left of the hole and ended with a damned seven. Not sure how I did this, but I threw the disc and still managed to take this shot with the disc still in the air. |
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| No comment on Thirteen. I also hate that hole. Number Fourteen saw shades of our former Number Three selves, but those were quick to diminish as we both completely botched the easy Number Fifteen heading in to the usually easy-going Number 16. Easy-Going in the summer, at least. Bryan beat me on Fifteen but still had a rather miserable score. I think the shock of that combined with the terror of remembering that you can't even see the basket for summer-time Sixteen resulted in... less than desirable actions prior to tee-off. |
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Labels: bryan, Disc Golf
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I found these orphaned on my computer... figured I'd backdate it and post them... cuz why not?
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This is either Gold #8 or Gold #9 at Renny I'm pretty sure.
Don't you just wish you could straighten that disc out a little bit before it goes?
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This is on #13 Gold at Renaissance... I believe
And, if I recall, the disc wasn't actually even in this tree...
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Labels: bryan, Disc Golf
a quick lunch-break trip to the disc golf course yields a -5 on the back 9 (where I started) and a +1 on the front. Suck. No bogeys on the back and 3 on the front. including the last hole. Where the disc hit the chains, bounced in the basket, and fell out. Crap. Labels: Disc Golf
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